Killing Kittens: A Female-Led Alternative to Traditional Sex-Positive Events

Overview

Killing Kittens is one of the most recognisable names in the global sex-positive and alternative nightlife scene. Founded in London, it has become known for hosting exclusive, members-only events that prioritise consent, female pleasure, and respectful interaction, setting it apart from many traditional adult clubs and play parties.

Often described as less seedy and more curated, Killing Kittens offers an experience that appeals to women, couples, and open-minded explorers seeking something more intentional than mainstream swingers events.

History: Why Killing Kittens Was Created

Killing Kittens was founded in 2005 by Emma Sayle, originally as a private members’ club for women and the people they choose to invite. The goal was to create a safe, empowering environment where women could explore sexuality without pressure, judgement, or unwanted attention.

At the time, many adult venues were male-dominated spaces where:

• Men freely approached women

• Solo men filled playrooms

• Consent was often assumed rather than actively respected

Killing Kittens was designed as a counter-culture response to this dynamic, flipping the traditional power balance and centring women’s agency.

The Meaning Behind the Name “Killing Kittens”

The provocative name Killing Kittens comes from an old internet meme: “Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.”

Rather than promoting shock for shock’s sake, the brand reclaims the phrase as a playful rejection of sexual shame, particularly around female pleasure. The irreverent tone reflects the organisation’s wider ethos: sex should be explored consciously, consensually, and without guilt.

What to Expect at Killing Kittens Events

Killing Kittens events are typically held in secret or private luxury venues and often include:

• Masked or themed dress codes

• Clear consent guidelines

• Social spaces alongside play spaces

• Hosts and rules that reinforce respectful behaviour
  

While sexual exploration may occur, it is never the expectation. Many attendees simply socialise, dance, flirt, or observe. This emphasis on choice is a key reason members often describe the atmosphere as relaxed, elegant, and emotionally safer than many sex clubs.

Key Differences from Many Adult & Swingers Events

Compared to traditional adult clubs or open play parties, Killing Kittens operates very differently:

Consent & Approach

• Men do not freely approach women

• Women initiate or explicitly invite interaction

• Consent is ongoing and visible, not assumed

Solo Men & Playrooms

• Solo men are historically restricted or tightly vetted

• Playrooms are not dominated by unaccompanied men

• The dynamic feels less performative and less transactional

Community-Led Culture

• Members help shape the culture and standards

• Behaviour that feels pushy or disrespectful is not tolerated

• Many attendees report feeling more respected and less objectified

This structure is often cited as why Killing Kittens feels “less seedy” than many adult venues, particularly for women and couples new to the scene.

The Killing Kittens App & Online Community

Beyond in-person events, Killing Kittens also operates a members-only app and digital platform. This allows members to:

• Connect before and after events

• Join interest-based groups

• Attend talks, workshops, and online experiences

• Build genuine community rather than one-off encounters

This ongoing engagement distinguishes Killing Kittens from standalone party promoters and aligns it more closely with pleasure-positive education and community-building.

How Killing Kittens Fits Within the Pleasure Revolution Landscape

At Pleasure Revolution, we highlight events that prioritise consent, embodiment, empowerment, and conscious connection.

Killing Kittens sits at the nightlife and erotic social end of this spectrum, complementing:

• Tantric and embodiment workshops

• Conscious play parties hosted by independent facilitators

• Sex-positive discussion groups and salons

• Couples’ intimacy and communication events

While the format differs, the shared values, respect, agency, and intentional pleasure, make Killing Kittens a relevant and influential part of the wider pleasure ecosystem.

Summary

Killing Kittens has earned its reputation not just through exclusivity, but through clear boundaries, strong consent culture, and female-led design. For those seeking adult experiences that feel thoughtful rather than transactional, and curated rather than chaotic, it remains one of the most recognisable alternatives to traditional sex clubs and swinger events.